What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
