Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
