so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
