I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
it's like iHOP with fire
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
