Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
