I just saw a hot homeless man
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
