i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
