At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
