Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
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