So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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