maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
