so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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