SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
no, he came in my armpit
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
then he tried to convert me to islam
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
