I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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