i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
