I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
