8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
