Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
