Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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