I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
