There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize