I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
