If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like itβs been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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