Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
