this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
