I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize