Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
