I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
