will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
