shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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