There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
