So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
