you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
