I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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