Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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