Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
