We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
