She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
