I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
