No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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