My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
