You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
