i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
