So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
COCAINE IS GR8
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
