im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
