i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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