Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
