Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
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