The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
