And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I can't turn off my feet"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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