Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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