Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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