My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
