what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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