All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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