Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize