I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You dont lie about slip and slides
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
