ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
